She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
