maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
