its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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