I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
