hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
