You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
