Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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