A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
