If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
