There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
