but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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