shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
