it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
