The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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