Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
