She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
