So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
