why didn't you poke me back
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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