idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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