yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
