There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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