I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
