He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
