It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
