Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
