You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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