I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize