Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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