Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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