Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
