Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize