id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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