How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
