For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize