Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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