Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
