What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
