I don't think brook has ever known best
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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