Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
