ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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