Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
