He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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