somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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