You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
