I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize