Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
