i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize