dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
