he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
