sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
