Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
