Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
