I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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