Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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