tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
