there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
