if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
