dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
