why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
