I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize