real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
