Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
