apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
