so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
