But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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